never leave lonely alone.

Funny Album Covers

okay. i don't know if anyone even reads this, but i realize my last post was whiney and emotional and whatever... after spending a few hours in the library, i feel a little better about the whole thing now, although still slightly neglected.

*WARNING* this entry is mostly me complaining. you probably shouldn't read it.

I don't know why, but today really upset me. Actually, I do know why. Because my parents had a family party at the park for my birthday, and people only came for the cake. I don't even like cake. Or vanilla ice cream. And that's the only kind of ice cream she bought. All I wanted was memphis mollie. Or however you spell it. And they forgot. They forgot the memphis mollie. I said I didn't care and that it didn't bother me, but I lied to my parents to spare their feelings. I said it was fine. I said I was fine. I am okay. It is okay. Maybe I shouldn't have lied. Maybe I should start telling people what I really think. How I really feel. Is it wrong that this upset me so much? At my own birthday party, I was forgotten. Does it make me selfish that the one day out of 365 days that I am supposed to feel special, I get upset when they forget that I don't like cake? Am I really special enough to get to feel it? I don't. I never do. I only ever feel a false sense of acceptance. Maybe that's why I avoided being around people so much before. Because I don't feel like anyone really cares. Yeah sure, I know thousands of people and I might call some of those my friends, but who would say they are a friend to me? Who would say I am a friend to them? I try. I really do. Unacceptable. Undesirable. Unspecial. I am no one. Why do I think I deserve any special treatment? I don't. No one does. But it would be nice if everyone could feel special once in a while.

I could tell no one really wanted to be there. Maybe that was because it was cold outside. My mom even bought like 40 hot dogs for everyone to eat and only 4 people ate them. She had to throw them out. And everything was kind of awkward. When she said "get a hot dog everyone, eat up!" No one did. My aunt was like, "well, I don't understand what's going on, are we eating hot dogs or cake right now?" She's crazy anyways... I feel bad for my mom. Her mom (my grandma) said "maybe nothing went right because you feel guilty about something." What the hell does that mean? My mom said she thinks it was because we didn't "pray" before eating the hot dogs. Like we can't eat without God blessing the hot dogs.

"Dear precious heavenly father, we thank you for these hot dogs, without which, we might starve. Amen."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aI4JLa0hbUw

you would not believe your eyes if 10 million fireflies lit up the world as i fell asleep.

cause they fill the open air and leave teardrops everywhere.

you'd think me rude, but i would just stand and stare.

cause i'd get a thousand hugs from 10,000 lightning bugs as they tried to teach me how to dance...

i'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly.

it's hard to say that i'd rather stay awake when i'm asleep 'cause everything is never as it seems when i fall asleep.

leave my door open just a crack (please take me away from here)

cause i feel like such an insomniac (please take me away from here)

why do i tire of counting sheep (please take me away from here)

when i'm far too tired to fall asleep?

to 10 million fireflies i'm weird 'cause i hate goodbyes. i got misty eyes as they said farewell.

but i'll know where several are if my dreams get real bizarre 'cause i saved a few and i keep them in a jar.

i'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly.

it's hard to say that i'd rather stay awake when i'm asleep 'cause everything is never as it seems when i fall asleep.

i'd like to make myself believe that planet earth turns slowly.

it's hard to say that i'd rather stay awake when i'm asleep because my dreams are bursting at the seams.

can someone PLEASE tell me who painted this????

Everyone needs to be familiar with these two websites:

peopleofwalmart.com

engrish.com